The Daily Fungus
Barbie throws one hell of a party!
By J.E.
Hanley 20th April 2016
Barbie was at the centre of
controversy at the weekend when she aimed a string of abuse towards Madonna,
Cher and Miss Berta, all who had attended her launch of her new doll, Bitch
Barbie. The evening started off well with her posing with celebrities, which
included Molly Mushroom and Mrs Overall, but ended with Barbie slapping a party
goer and performing the infamous Ping-Pong game widely performed in exotic
nightclubs in Blackpool. At this point the crowd were seen to be ducking out
the way for fear of being hit. One reliable source stated that she was very
scared indeed. ‘It all happened so quickly. One minute she was slapping my
friend across the face and the next she had her legs wide open popping out
balls like nobody’s business. I tried to hide for cover but got hit in the face
several times. It was very forceful!’ 
Barbie later got so drunk that she
was unable to get up on the stage and was helped up by Molly Mushroom and her
friend, Okei. By the time she had given a slurred presentation about her new
doll, that secretes human bodily functions, she had tripped into the crowd and
was sick all over Kim Kardashian. Kim later posted a selfie of it on twitter
and every other conceivable social network outlet. The controversy did not end
there with Barbie lashing out at Billy Ray Cyrus and then pulling down
Madonna’s knickers. Barbie was papped wearing them on her head and later
flicking them at Ken Dodd, which got stuck in his teeth. 
A spokesman for Madonna made this statement earlier
today: ‘We are currently trying to find out exactly what happened at the launch
of Bitch Barbie and the whereabouts of Madonna’s knickers. There will be a
search warrant at every attendee’s home including Madonna’s. These were her
lucky pair of knickers and she hopes that they will be found in their original
state. We are treating this as a very serious incident and the consequences
will be high to the person or persons found guilty.’ 