6. Well hello there and welcome. Molly Mushroom at your service, with a smile and a song. Does anyone else think Snow White looks like a blow up doll?

I have had a lovely and enjoyable time full of gay cheer and frivolities. The week started by going for a bike ride with my friends Penelope and Germalina. What fun we thought, peddling through the lanes and feeling the cold in our hair when suddenly a great gust of wind blew up Penelope’s gash and she took off. I kid you not, Penelope flew high in the air, circled a few times (Germalina thought she was showing off) and then was caught by a seagull. Well, by this time, as you can imagine, myself and Germalina were wetting ourselves as Penelope screamed in terror in the grasp of the greedy bird, her hair a mass of frizz. Thankfully, for her, the seagull sneezed and dropped her in a hawthorn bush where she was ripped to pieces. By this time we were bored with waiting for her and had made a lovely seating area for our winter picnic. She was incredibly lucky to have found us some time later with some food left as we were incredibly hungry and had eaten with relish. So that was that. A few days later I had a photo-shoot with Penelope Keith and Rihanna, which was a blast until they had a falling out over ‘one bikini fits all’ swimwear. It made me feel quite nauseous.

I would like to say a big hello to Sara Harvey aka ambivalent_sun.I love your doodles!

Ooh check out Siouxsie’s new song Love Crime – very haunting.

Anyway, enough about me, it’s over to you.

 Hi Molly, what’s up? I would like to know how you get to meet all these amazing people. Also, who has been your favourite and your least favourite celebrity you have met? Pauline J

 Hi Pauline J, as you can see by my reactions when meeting these celebrities I am ecstatic to the point of frisking myself, except for one or two, but I have to be the professional in these matters and try to keep my hands where all can see. Generally I gate-crash and blackmail the celebrities to have a photo with me and other times I just pop into Madame Tussauds and take a picture of myself with a wax work model. Did you notice any difference between the real Madonna and the fake?! I was, however, banned due to striking a match to Donald Trump and melting his godforsaken arse, however, when they realised who it was they thanked me and I now am now the proud owner of a one year free pass to the attraction and unlimited travel to America and Mexico.

Who has been my favourite celebrity? I have two actually. The first has to be Zsa Zsa Gabor. She was incredibly kind spirited and taught me the tango. I never would have imagined how flexible she was and she put my clumsy steps to shame. You could never say she has two left feet that one. Marvellous! The other celebrity who I found to be charming was Linford Christie. Not only was he charming but completely dishy and someone I found had the ability to turn me to soup. In fact most celebrities I meet are perfectly lovely, when they speak and are not made of wax that is.

So I guess you want to hear who I feel has been the worst out of the lot of them? It has to be the one and only Dawn French. Rude and randy is what I would say. The amount of times I had to prise her off me was beyond any spores belief. Still we managed to come to an agreement and if I did not sell the story to the paper she would be my cleaner for life. She is not very good but it keeps her off the streets.

I hope that answers your question, Pauline? Ciao for now, Molly X

 

Dear Molly Mushroom, I am writing as I have some concerns about my mental health. Recently I have begun to get down about the slightest things and have destructive thoughts about myself. These thoughts involve feelings of not being good enough. I do not think that I have made the best out of my life and look at my friends and wish I had what they had. Any help would be great, thanks, Donna.

Hi Donna, Molly here to help. Firstly, you take up place on this earth and a very important space you take up too. No one else can take this place and nor do they deserve the privilege. Whether you are of a positive or negative disposition you are amazing. Every single one of your cells proves that. It is very difficult coping with a mental health issue, having destructive thoughts and then comparing yourself to friends who you feel are more successful than you. It would be easy to say something along the lines of how they probably feel the same way and compare themselves to yourself and others but this is not about them. It is about you. Many, many people suffer with mental health issues in one way or another. Depression is the second most disabling condition in the UK and is rising. Along with depression comes anxiety, stress, obsessive thoughts and behaviours to name a few.

I can see that you are starting to act upon your feelings by writing to me and I applaud you. By asking for help is a huge part of your recovery. You have acknowledged that you have these thoughts so now you can move forward and start addressing them.

When did you start sensing that you had feelings of not being good enough or a lack of self-worth? Can you pinpoint a time or place? Think back to when you started to feel these negative thoughts? Was it through childhood or adulthood. When did someone knock your confidence so badly that you felt you were a lesser person because of this? How did this all come about?

Mental health can be a combination of biological, genetic, psychological and environmental. All, some or few of these factors are contributors.

I believe that you need to understand where this is coming from before you can start to really get better. However, there are many things that you can do to start off. The most important thing you can do for yourself is give yourself a break. Stop pounding your head with negativity. Allow yourself some time off. Maybe you could try it a little at a time e.g. at six o’clock until seven o’clock every evening (or whenever is good for you) allow yourself not think about how crap you think you are and just say how amazing you are. Even if it as little as five minutes a day, you need to start somewhere! You may not believe it at first but the more positive thoughts you tell yourself the more your subconscious mind will absorb them. Keep on and on saying how fantastic life is, how great you are, how lucky you are to have what you have. You may not feel like doing it but tough shit, get on an do it! Be proactive. Your mind is very powerful and acts upon what it is told.

Reflect on the good and success you have had in your life. Remember that if you had it before you can certainly have it again if only you will allow yourself.

Exercise, laughter, sex, socialising and healthy eating are other things that can help you.

There are many places you can go for  support. I have given you a few websites that you can look into and hopefully find the support you need.

With best wishes, Molly X

Below are a few websites that can help and are based in the UK. For worldwide information go onto google and do some research.

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/M/mindfulness/

http://www.samaritans.org/

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/Mentalhealthhome.aspx

 

Lots of love everyone, Molly Mushroom X

 

 

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