16. Hello chicken fillets. I hope you are having a wonderful day and that all your dreams have come true (if they are legal). I have had a turbulent week. It started off with someone taking offence to last weeks post and writing a very angry email stating that I must have been joking about using twigs for eyelashes (I sincerely do not joke about such things!) as she tried it out when seducing her husband one evening ending up with him being rushed to A&E with what looked like a birds nest protruding from his genitalia. I asked her how many twigs she had used and she admitted ‘rather a lot.’ I asked what rather a lot was and she then sent a picture. I promised that I would not show it and Molly always keeps her promises, however tempting it would be. However, I do have some serious concerns regarding some people’s sanity. So if you are reading this, Peggy Pushpram from Wembertinkerton, just be careful you don't find yourself in a padded room!

I had a mixed reaction to my post last week with some of you thanking me for my top tips, fashion and makeup advice, and some of you, let's just say, not so keen. Thank you, Maybe Itsmaybalene for suggesting I stick to what I know! Pot, kettle and black ring a bell?

I decided to give two very different points of view to last week's addition as I think it is important to show both sides. So without werther-a-riginal let's get to it.

For:

My name is Felicity Bainbridge and I found Molly’s beauty and fashion tips a must for the lady with limited time. After a few tries of lowering my head onto the false eyelashes I am now able to do it standing on my head. This is a must for all of you who run a home, work full-time and still find enough time to pleasure your partner. I don’t know what I did before this incredible tip. I also particularly like the brown hairband as an accessory and wore one to my daughter’s wedding last weekend. I was beginning to panic as I had no idea what to wear but thanks to your suggestion, and your immaculate timing, I felt like a princess and have never had so much attention from men. Even the groom wanted a grope. Honestly, I have never been happier.

Thank you again, Molly Mushroom. I look forward to more of your fashion and beauty posts and please see picture below of my special day.

Dear Felicity, I am so pleased you were able to extract so many fantastic tips from last week’s post and it really shows that you took note and worked your look. I especially like the brown hairband and your big hair. It is amazing what you can achieve with a cheap, nylon wig. Well done you! Molly X

 Against:

I am thoroughly unimpressed with your ridiculous tips you have on fashion and beauty and wondered where such silly ideas came from? I attended my niece’s wedding last week and wanted to put together the similar outfit you suggested and have never been more humiliated. I used the same tip you recommended by mixing glue with paint for lipstick but both sets got stuck together. I didn’t have a pink dress and got so flustered that I panicked and didn't have time to put on any clothes whatsoever. Sadly I am not as lucky as my sister, who has long brown hair, and do not have access to wigs so I gathered dry grass up from the lawn and stapled that to my head which later went septic. Please do not give up your day job! Agatha Bainbridge.

Oh dear me, Agatha. You went to your niece’s wedding nude? Shame on you! Now I must fly as I am extremely busy, Molly X